Grace has called my name, help me to love the unlovable.

" But with one touch you set me free, you met me in my deepest need...
Grace has called my name when all that I had left were just filthy stains"

This week a young man died in his apartment in New York. Just 28 years old, he was the father of a beautiful 2 year old girl, now without her dad. His autopsy was inconclusive but in an interview given a week before his death he complained of only getting 2 hrs sleep a night as his mind was working over time on the acting roles he had taken on. He was prescribed sleeping tablets and its predicted that the mixing prescription and over the counter tablets were the cause of his untimely demise. The young man was the talented and bright young actor, Heath Ledger. A sad story, but it gets worse.

His grieving family plan, through their tears his funeral. While some of the legalistic "Christian" churches plan to PROTEST at this young man's funeral. I use inverted commas around the word Christian as the word "Christian" itself means "Christ-like" and I am pretty sure from the example Jesus set us out in the New Testament that He would be just as disgusted by this as I am. Their reason? In a recent movie he worked on Ledger played a homosexual.

Similar "Christians" will protest outside clubs and gay bars, shouting insults and hurling abuse, even spitting on the people who enter and exit. Let me pose this question then, would Jesus join you in this if He was to visit us today?

The bible tells us homosexuality is a sin, but so is hatred, in fact they are on equal ground. Other sins include prostitution, adultery, murder, fornication, anger, slander, witchcraft and so on. Did Jesus spit on and verbally abuse the prostitutes or sinners (in whatever form) that he encountered, or did he attack the men who wanted to hurl the insults, the men who even wanted to stone the sinners to death?
"Let him who has no sin, cast the first stone". How different this picture is. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees - the self-righteous, not the sinners. He did ask the sinners to stop in their sin, but he did by love, not violence or rebuke.

Is it possible that by these protests that the Christian body is being attacked from within? That we are persecuted by our own kind? Will this sort of behaviour add to or purify the Bride of Christ. Simple answer - no. How will these protests uphold the Christian values that Jesus taught. Where is the compassion, the grace and where oh where is the LOVE that Jesus himself lived and taught day in and day out. Someone treats us unkindly we are asked to turn the other cheek and LOVE.

Hard to do, dare I say impossible without the strengthening of the Holy Spirit, which we must ask for and have renewed daily. But that is why that strength is there for us to tap into. How hard it is to hate someone who does you no wrong, how hard it is to slander someone who loves you without reason to. It is possible to love the sin out of someone, it is what Jesus did. So much easier to take rebuke from a gentle voice than a harsh one.

If all Christians were to love as Jesus did, the whole world would be converted, everyone would want to be part of this loving family, differences would be glorified and uplifted as the different parts of the body, each playing a part and division would cease to exist. Gentle, prayerful chastening would be used purify, love and "sharpen" each other, careless whipping criticism and slander would be a thing of the past. Jesus take our hearts of stone and fill them up with your love so that there is no room for anything else. What are we that you even notice us, let alone give your life in love for a sinner, like me.

In James, it speaks against the sin of Favoritism, this is loving someone more because they are similar to you, whether it be in appearance, sexual orientation, class, colour, religion, mental stability etc. Jesus loved the unlovable. He loved the tax collectors and His kindness touched them. He was gentle with the prostitutes and they turned from their sin. He even love the demon processed and healed them.

God is an enemy of the self-righteous. Pride, hatred and self love are sin and abomination before Him. How can we treat others this terrible way and call it the work of God. How many times a day do we love and reach out to the unlovable? Do we show favoritism? In Matthew Jesus told us the golden rule was to love God and to love our neighbours treating them as we would like to be treated.

I know I am guilty of favourtism. Its so much easier to spend time with those who are like us, those who we have things in common with, who share similarities to us, or have similar goals. I especially love to spend time with "alive" Christians who live for God and worship Him because I feel uplifted and encouraged by their love for God. But even this is not all God has planned for me. If I only feed myself by spending time with Christians how can I led non-believers to Christ? Sure there is a place for Christian fellowship but we must reach beyond that. We must love those who have nothing in common with us, with those who are unlovable.

Ask yourself what did Jesus have in common with you before you met him? Praise God He saw it fit to spend time with you and me. Even as I lay broken at the feet of God, even as I saw myself as God saw me, naked and disgusting in my sin that was rotting me from the inside out, naked with out Jesus' robe of blood and salvation to cover my sins. He came to me and loved me.

Gandhi who is one of the most respected leaders in modern history was once asked by a Christian Missionary why he often quoted Jesus (in particular) the Sermon at the Mount (Matthew 5,6,7) and yet rejected Christ. To this he replied

"Oh I don't reject your Christ, I love your Christ, but so many of your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

This quote has echoed and reverberated through my mind since I first read it and settled a fearful chill upon my heart. If Christ is our brother shouldn't we bear a family resemblance?

“Apparently Ghandi's rejection of Christianity grew out of an incident that happened when he was a young man practicing law in South Africa. He had become attracted to the Christian faith, had studied the Bible and the teachings of Jesus, and was seriously exploring becoming a Christian. And so he decided to attend a church service. As he came up the steps of the large church where he intended to go, a white South African elder of the church barred his way at the door. "Where do you think you're going, kaffir?" the man asked Ghandi in a belligerent tone of voice.

Ghandi replied, "I'd like to attend worship here."

The church elder snarled at him, "There's no room for kaffirs in this church. Get out of here or I'll have my assistants throw you down the steps."

From that moment, Ghandi said, he decided to adopt what good he found in Christianity, but would never again consider becoming a Christian if it meant being part of the church.”

John Mark Ministries (Google.com)

>We are Christ's arms, his voice, his eyes now that He has ascended into Heaven, we are His body now on earth. Are we willing to be truly Christ-like... is Christ our Lord? Are we indeed Christian? It has so much less to do with rules and where we worship than we would think, and it has everything to do with a very real God, a very present Saviour and making Him Lord of your life, being submissive to His will.

>"The same sun that melts the ice, hardens the clay" (Mark Driscoll)

Let our hearts be melted Lord, don't let us get hard in your presence.

> Lord God, break our pride Lord, fill our hearts with love so that there is no room for anything else. Fill our hearts with Jesus so that we might reflect His image, so that we might bear a family resemblance to Him and to You. Give us strength through your Holy Spirit and cleansing through your Son's blood. In His Name, Amen.

If we remember how we were before God without Jesus, we will love and not condemn. Help us Lord.

Starting the New Year resting in the palm of His hand.

Its been a while since Ive written in my blog.. to be honest the reason for this is that God has been dealing so profoundly with me on a daily basis that I had so much to write about and yet it was intimate dealings that if I had written about them, I would have been left feeling "soul exposed".

Needless to say since I wrote last, God has been good. He has been my constant companion, my Shepherd protecting and leading me to feeding grounds, my teacher, my guide and my comfort. I've been slow to learn, I've been rash, I've been disobedient and yet He has been constant, He has been loving, He has been forgiving and compassionate. Most of all He has taught me with a strong gentleness that is the mark of His spirit and He has answered my prayers to bring me reassurance where He knows there is insecurity. He is truly beautiful and "a friend like no other".

I've had so many questions, so much need of reassurance and God has been there building me up with the teaching of His spirit. What better way to start of the New Year than to start it off walking with God (though at times like a toddler -which spiritually I am - I would grow weak, but instead of distancing Himself, I would feel Him even closer reassuring me of His love and carrying me). Yet despite this I am aware of my need to grow from it, to not need these constant reminders of His love, but to be confident in it and to rejoice in it. A child that doubts its parents love will never be truly close to them and the relationship will never fully flourish.

Last night I was reading in Colossians 1:22 (NLT)

"Yet now He has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result He has brought you into His own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before Him without a single fault."

Wow, "holy and blameless" this is how God wants us to view ourselves.

As a teacher I know if you pick on the negative behaviour of the problem children they start to view themselves as "bad". This causes their self esteem to dive and their behaviour worsens. Teachers nickname this a self-fulfilling prophecy; "my teacher says I'm bad so I act bad". Call a child bad (or make them feel that way) and that is what they become.

On the flip side, build up that child's self esteem, "catch them being good" (as difficult as this may be with problem children) and suddenly the child goes from being a difficult child to wanting to please this adult that sees the best in them. When you are disappointed they are disappointed in themselves, as they seek your approval.

So it is with us and God. We are His children and He knows that we are not yet made perfect, He knows that we will have daily sin in our lives, even as we strive to live as 'imitators of Christ'. But rather than us viewing ourselves as sinners, outcast of heaven and dirty in sin, God would rather robe us in Jesus blood (forgiveness) and label us "holy and blameless".

I still struggle to see myself as "holy". Yet when God gives me the grace to see this I realise that when I believe this, when I take that assurance in Jesus blood, assurance in a Father's love that does not change with the tides of day to day, but is constant and steadfast (as He would like us to be). When I see myself robed in Jesus, I realise that I am Holy, a child of the most high God, "inseperatable' from Him.

Romans 8:38
"For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels or demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries for tomorrow - not even the powers of Hell can separate us from God's love"

When I view myself through the 'eyes of God' so to speak and see myself as He sees me, a cherished child. I realise that His promises are true and He will never "forsake me". (Heb 13.5).

That assurance that I previously mentioned in Col 1:22 is there that we might rejoice and have joy and peace more abundantly in His Love and our salvation. That we might wait in expectancy at being with Him and look forward to His return, as the Bride in Songs of Solomon longs for her bridegroom.

But that is not all, for while salvation is a gift that comes by belief and revelation from Jesus Christ, Paul says...

Col 1.23

"But you must continue to believe this truth and stand firmly in it. Don't drift away from the assurance that you have received when you heard the good news."

While God has been seeking for me to have this assurance and to have the joy that comes with it, I must grasp hold of it, no matter how insecure I am feeling, no matter how much spiritual warfare in going on in my life, no matter how vicious and frightening the "roaring lion" seems.

Without this assurance there is no good news, only the weight of works on our shoulders as we seek to use our actions to buy our passage to Heaven. With this assurance comes the overflowing cup of Love from Heaven. With this cup come the love for God and with that comes servent-hood, as Jesus reveals to us the debt that was paid and that He first loved us.

Without this assurance it seems like it is all up to us and our works. Hence we have a good day and we feel like we have assurance of heaven, we have a bad day and we have no assurance and so no joy. How then can we give thanks in all things as Paul encouraged us to do. This lack of assurance is not what God planned for us, how does this view of salvation reflect a parents love?

With this Godly biblical assurance we realise how much we were loved and are loved. Loved while yet still in sin, loved while we were so hideous in the rot and stench of sin that God's eyes could not even look upon us. Loved enough even in this disgusting state, that He was willing to give for us what was most precious to Him. If He loved us then like that, how much more does He love us now when clothed in Jesus righteousness!

Romans 5:8-11
But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners... For since our friendship with God was restored by the death of His son while we were yet His enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of His son. So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God."

And so I nestle closer, knowing that my loving Heavenly Father. A God whose love I see everyday in everything, whose spirit and presence I feel, whose security now surrounds me and enfolds me, and who plans only what is best for me.

Should I need to be broken to be remoulded, Lord I pray you'd make me willing...
and keep teaching me Lord, for you are the best teacher.

Praise God in Heaven that He is not distant from His loved ones, that He is a God of intimacy and not of rules.
Praise you my God.

Amen.